Stand in the rain
by Maroon-dragon
Summary: Alex refuses to talk to anyone after Russia and only Birkhoff seems to be able to get to her. Set after the episode Power...I own absolutely nothing. Was supposed to be a one-shot but I added another chapter. please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I shouldn't be writing this, as I have a million other stories to finish….but I recently fell in love with the Birkhoff/Alex ship. I really wanted to write something for it as there aren't many Balex stories on , so this is going to be a one shot unless I get enough reviews telling me to add chapters. I do need a beta for this story, so any volunteers?**

"I'm worried about her Michael." Nikita whispered as she looked at the small figure on the couch.

"I just don't get it; she seemed fine when we came back from Russia. She even seemed more peaceful than I have seen in a long while."

"She hasn't said a word for weeks now. That is not fine!"

"Don't you think I know that? If you can tell me what to do about it, I will gladly do it."

"Perhaps you guys should stop talking behind her back and actually talk to her." Birkhoff cut in from behind them.

"The last time I tried to talk to her, I got my head almost bitten off. In the literal sense of the word." Michael muttered, removing his arm from Nikita her waist to go upstairs.

"When Alex doesn't want to talk, she will not talk." Nikita answered Birkhoff as she left the room as well, to do god knows what. Birkhoff threw a glance at the girl in question. It just seemed wrong. Alex was supposed to be the one with the witty comebacks. Someone he could talk to that wasn't being completely obsessive about another person. God knew he liked Nikita and Michael, but those two really were a little too intense for his liking. He moved over to the couch, letting himself fall down next to her. Without saying a word to her he just gave her the second controller and started up a game. He kept all his focus on the screen in front of them, not once looking at her as if she was a scared creature that would run and hide the moment he did. To his actual surprise she actually selected a character to play with.

They never exchanged a word, not even when he went to put some pizza in the oven. Her favorite pizza to be exact. Birkhoff didn't know why he remembered her favorite pizza, but she granted him a small smile which was more emotion than she had shown for the past few weeks. Well not exactly. Because Michael and Nikita were involved, both Alex and Birkhoff had decided to take bedrooms on the other side of the house for _obvious_ reasons. The house was very well secured, but the bedroom walls were thin enough to let him hear the younger girl cry herself to sleep every night. It just wasn't right.

_**She never slows down.  
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like it's all coming down  
She won't turn around  
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down**_**  
**

The next four days he spent at least a couple of hours playing graphic games with Alex. It seemed to help her. At nigh Birkhoff didn't have to listen to her cry for hours. He even had one night of blessed silence. He never told her to be silent, nor did he go into her room. He just didn't know what he would, or could, say to her that would make her feel better. He preferred computers for that reason. They were pure logic. No messed up feelings. Enough was enough however. Nikita had started to avoid the younger girl, blaming herself in some way for the state Alex was in. Michael was either at Nikita her side or trying to get more information on how Percy was faring ruling Division. There was an unusual silence from the man. Percy seemed to be dealing with getting his power secured inside the black ops group, putting his problems with Nikita and the outside world on a low burner. Someone needed to start dealing with Alex.

"you know when Amanda was…torturing me, I kept thinking of you." She didn't say anything, but the raised eyebrow told him to elaborate.

"Remember how you were "kidnapped" by those terrorist. That test from division?" She gave a slight nod, he could understand how she didn't want to think about her first kill with Division. "I was watching it, together with Michael, Amanda and Percy. You took the hits better than any other agent I had ever seen. You were so…strong, and that was before I knew you actually had been part of human trafficking." She looked away. He didn't know whether it was because of shame or refusal to be reminded of it. Perhaps a bit of both, he decided to continue anyway.

"I got into Division by being good at hacking. No glorified murders, and while I hated my parents, I never went through the things you and all the other recruits went through. Physical strength and bravery were not my forte. So when I knew exactly what Amanda was planning I was ready to give up, but you stopped me. Remembering how you…defied your captors, the electrocution. You had nothing to live for, yet you…fought. I thought; if she can do it, then surely I can do it too. Though I have to admit when Amanda started the…lobotomy I almost gave up. Thank god for Nikita's timing, huh?" The joke came out strangled. He didn't like talking about that _time_. A soft and small hand wrapped itself around his bigger ones. He looked up to find Alex her face near his own. She pressed to feather-light kisses to both his eyelids before placing her head on his shoulder. He wrapped one of his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. In response she draped on of her legs over his outstretched ones and placed on of her arms over his stomach, covering him like some sort of security blanket. It wasn't until Birkhoff noticed the top of Alex her head was slightly wet that he realized he was crying. Alex had noticed though. She had noticed him; Seymour Birkhoff and not just Nerd.

_**So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain**_

Nikita looked on from the stairs. It had been a few days like this, they would play a few graphic games and then curl up together. She had to be very silent to actually catch them together, Alex and Birkhoff both had the hearing of bats. Today however was different. They had fallen asleep on the couch and it shocked Nikita how relaxed the both of them looked. So very different from the tense people they were during the day. Of course Birkhoff told everyone of in that Snarky way of his and Alex mostly went through the day with hardly any emotion on her face, but that undeniable tension in their shoulders was always there. It was visible in all of them. A pair of warm arms wrapped around her waist.

"They seem so at peace." She whispered as she leaned back into Michael.

"They deserve a little bit of peace, god knows we need all our energy to keep fighting. Ryan is upstairs by the way. He apparently has find some new pieces to where Division gets their funding. Shall I wake Birkhoff?" Michael asked.

"No let him sleep, he's good for Alex."

"He shouldn't get any ideas, he is quite a few years older than her." He grumbled.

"Not that many years, and Alex has been through a lot…she is mentally a lot older."

"Ugh seriously, Nerd and alex…she seems a bit out of his league. Whatever makes them happy I suppose." He added after a look from Nikita.

"Now let's see what Ryan has to tell us."

_**She won't make a sound  
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down  
She wants to be found  
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.**_**  
**  
"I just don't know what to do anymore." Her voice sounded like a she had just swallowed gravel. Birkhoff tried not to look too surprised.

"What do you mean?"

"Semak is death, that's what I lived for, what I took those electrocutions for: Revenge. Now what do I have left? I hardly know my mother, I don't think I will ever be able to reconnect with her. I have no family left, my revenge was granted, my father his company is in someone else their hands. I am death to the world."

"You are not death to the world Sunshine. You have me, Michael, Nikita and Ryan as a family. Last time I checked we are still in the land of the living."

"We are hiding, running and fighting. I just don't know any more what I am fighting for."

"You are fighting for life: to save the lives of all those future recruits, for all those recruits send out on suicide missions. To help Nikita and Michael get their peace and let them get away from all of this." He wondered whether she would hit him for brushing away a few strands of hair out of her face. He decided to take the risk and was thankfully greeted with a small smile.

"I just wonder if it will be enough. Is it terrible of me to want to run away? To blame them, to tell them that there was no one fighting for me when I went through hell." She sounded so bitter, he wondered how many people had ever met this side of Alex.

"It's not terrible; I often had the same ideas." She gave him a questioning look, not truly believing his words. "No one helps the _nerd_ unless they want something from him Alex. In high school it was home-work because even at the age of eight I could do their homework better than them. In Division it was my computer skills. No one looks further than the work I deliver."

"So why are you fighting?"

"Because someone has to do the right thing. Well that and I can tell them exactly where to stick it because they will owe me a big favor." The joke held hardly any real joy, because it was the truth. He was surprised when Alex curled up against him, placing her head on his chest.

"I will not fight for the recruits, or Nikita, or Michael." For a moment he thought she had given up. "I will fight for you Birkhoff, because someone should show you exactly how much you are worth." Birkhoff had no come back to that, all he could do was wrap his arms around her.

_**So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain**_

Alex still didn't talk much after that. She only offered Birkhoff a small "hey" when they started their daily gaming session and a "bye" afterwards when she retired to her room. Yet the atmosphere seemed a lot lighter around the house. Michael even joined them occasionally during their game time. For some reason Brikhoff felt like the man was interfering with some sort of bonding time between him and Alex. He refused to look into why it bothered him so much.

"Alex seems to get better." Nikita remarked as she joined Michael and him in the kitchen.

"Got to hand it to you Nerd, I didn't think anyone could get through to her. Yet somehow you managed to do so. What did you use? Some secret Nerd talk." Michael joked.

"Wow man, that was below the belt. I tried talking to her, something you guys should have tried instead of getting her to talk." He bit back, not in the mood for jokes about this.

"Relax Birkhoff, we are just happy things are getting better. If you and Alex got closer by doing so that only makes it better." Nikita was being honest, but the words still stung. Like he couldn't do anything else but man the computers.

Deciding to let things slide he bit back the retort he had on the tip of his tongue and voiced his real thoughts on the matter. "She is depressed guys. Has she ever really talked to any of you, or Amanda even, about what happened to her? And I am not just talking about what happened in Division, or to her parents. I mean everything, including the sex trafficking?"

"She never talked to Amanda about it, we made sure she would only tell Amanda what she wanted to know. I never talked much about what happened to her before I found her. She always gave me the silent treatment when I even came close to the subject." Nikita hadn't seen the problem then, but perhaps she should have said something back then.

"I never talked to her about anything, that was Amanda her job. I do know however she was extremely shaken up after she had been send by Percy to sleep with one of our 'clients'. I knew her history, but I thought the reaction was rather normal for someone who just got shot at." Michael looked extremely guilty, but Birkhoff felt no reason to be compassionate.

"So you want to tell me you never ever tried to talk to her? Both of you know better than most what traumatic events can do to a human and you just let her suffer through it on her own! Great friends you are." He muttered, leaving the kitchen. He found Alex standing right outside.

"Alex! I…how much did you hear?"

"Everything." She whispered rushing of to her room.

"Great, every bit of progress made these past weeks down the drain." He needed a red bull.

_**So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground**_**  
**_**Stand up when it's all crashing down  
Stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, what's lost can be found**_**  
**

Alex resumed her silent treatment of everyone in the house, including Birkhoff and for some reason that hurt him. He had tried so hard to get through to her. He shared his traumatic experiences and she had told him he was worth something. Now everything seemed back the way they were weeks ago. He had to resist the urge to scream when she wasn't on the couch for their daily gaming session. All because of one bad conversation. The weather seemed to adjust to his mood. The rain had been unrelenting for a couple of days and a big storm was predicted to hit them tonight. The predictions were correct.

The house was set alight by flashes every few minutes and the following rumbling seemed to be a constant without any pauses. He tossed and turned for almost half an hour already and he didn't think he would get much sleep if it continued like this. He almost missed the slight creaking sound of his door being opened. Almost. He pulled his gun from beneath his pillowed and switched on his light.

"Alex?" he mumbled, trying to get his eyes adjusted to the light. She seemed to be trembling, and not from the cold. "What's wrong?"

"Can I sleep here tonight? I just…" She didn't need to finish the sentence as he lifted the cover of his sheets and moved a little to the other side of the bed.

"It's no problem." He muttered. He didn't even see her move, that's how fast she climbed into his bed. She was shaking like a leaf, even on the other side of the bed he felt it. Without thinking about the consequences he grabbed her by her waist and pulled her against him. Holding her close in his arms. She tensed and he almost let her go again, but she made herself relax in his arms. The shaking toned down a bit until there was only an occasional tremor left.

"Birkhoff...I.."

"You don't need to explain." He really wanted to know what had shaken up Alex like this, but she seemed to be in some sort of distress and he did not want to take advantage of her state like this.

"Yes, I do need to explain. Remember how you wanted to talk about…what I went through with those _men_?" he couldn't really voice his answer, but he just shifted her a bit so he could hear her talk more clearly.

"The _monsters_ that made us do _things_ have a very good technique on how to break you, make you compliant. They don't drug you in the beginning, the first week or two they don't let you forget. You remember everything, their hands, the sounds they make. You never truly forget. It's to make you truly afraid, to make sure you understand how much the drugs help you forget. The first time is the worst, most of us are young. You already know I was fourteen at the time. Your first time more often than not is your _first_ time." She seemed to struggle with the words and he didn't know what to say either so he just tightened his grip on her.

"My first time was with an ugly official looking man. They had threatened me before I went in, to make sure I would be compliant. It hurt so much. I remember the look in his eyes, so hungry and vulgar. He asked me for my age and he seemed only more eager when he realized how young I was. He asked me to…undress and after that undress him. My hands were shaking and he hit me when I missed a button. I just felt so filthy, so used. He seemed to like me screaming for he pinched and pulled at my skin until I screamed. One of the older girls there had told me to try and focus on something else when _it_ started. There was a thunderstorm going on outside, just as loud as this one."

"God Alex…and we sent you out to sleep with some official. I should have protested more…" he didn't even understand what he was saying, it just contained a lot of apologies.

"They would have gone through with it anyway. It wasn't your fault. I am glad it was me they sent, at least I could spare one girl from feeling worthless." She mumbled into his shirt.

"Alex you are not worthless, you know that right?" He pulled up her face, so she could see he was sincere.

"Maybe not, but I am damaged. No one wants someone as _used_ as me."

"Please, any guy would be lucky to have you. You shouldn't have to hide this from someone who truly loves you Alex. If they love you, they will understand."

"Thanks Birkhoff." She gave him a watery smile.

"No problem Alex, and it's Seymour."

"Okay, Seymour." A small shiver went down his spine at the sound of his name tumbling from her lips. He turned them around so they were spooning. "Get some sleep, princess."

Only when her breath evened out he let himself drift off to sleep. He didn't want to think about what the beauty in his arms was doing to him. So if he woke up earlier than her and spent a good portion of the time staring at her, it was absolutely nothing.

_**So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain**_

A weight seemed to be lifted of the younger girl. She smiled more and even talked to Michael and Nikita again. Neither of them mentioned the involvement of Birkhoff, or asked how it happened. The relationship between them seemed stronger than ever though. If you found Birkhoff you could bet Alex was somewhere around as well. She even had taken up calling her mother daily, even though she couldn't tell where she was or what she exactly was doing, she could tell her about her friends and how she was feeling.

"Everyone is alright here, mum. Not much is happening with the power struggle currently in Division." Alex mumbled.

"And how is that Birkhoff guy? I would love to meet him Alexandra."

"Birkhoff is fine, why?" her mothers tone didn't imply much good.

"It's nothing bad Alexandra. You just seem to talk a lot about him. I don't hear that much about Nikita and that Michael of hers."

"He is just interesting mum, just a nice guy." He was nothing more, she refused to think about it to closely. So what if she often went to his room at night. His bed was just very comfortable to sleep in, it was nice knowing someone else was around. One of the glass sliding doors opened behind her, it was Birkhoff holding a bucket of Ben and Jerry's. She nodded to his unasked question whether she wanted some. When he closed the door she continued talking. "He is just a very nice guy."

Two bowls of ice cream were standing on the glass table in front of the couch. Birkhoff was putting in some kind of DVD. "All right, so what are we watching?" Alex asked as she let herself crash on the couch.

"We are watching the all awesomeness of the mummy!" She pulled a face at him, she actually rather liked the movie but it was fun to rile him up.

"Don't give me that look Princess! The mummy is one of the best movies ever, unless you'd rather watch Shutters island?" They both shuddered. The movie wasn't terrible really, but that asylum rather reminded them of Division. They had shut the movie down soon after that.

"No let's stick with the Mummy, even if I don't like the story I will at least have Brendan Fraser to look at." Somehow the flash of jealousy on his face pleased her.

It seemed almost natural for them to snuggle up to each other on the couch, though she was sure that Birkhoff would find it a rather emasculating term. He did not snuggle. She tried to keep in her laughter, but a small giggle still escaped her lips. It was the first time she truly laughed at something since Moscow. He looked at her surprised before an evil glint showed up in his eyes.

"Are you laughing at me Ms. Udinov?"

"Absolutely Mr. Birkhoff." She teased back.

"Well that deserves some punishment, no one laughs at the Shadow walker and gets away with it." He somehow had managed to get hold of a pillow and suddenly she had a mouth full of pillow.

"You will regret that Seymour!" She yelled as he ducked behind the couch. Grabbing a pillow of her own she chased him around the room, occasionally managing to hit him and being hit in return.

"You seem out of shape Alex! You should train more." He teased. She decided to make a rash move and threw herself against him while hitting him with the pillow. The force behind her leap combined with Birkhoff his surprised threw them over the edge of the couch. Still bubbling with laughter they stayed still on the ground, trying to get their breath back. Once she finally managed to calm down her breathing she realized exactly how they had landed. She was straddling him and somehow his hands had found her hips while hers were placed beside his head. She would only have to lean in and she would be close enough to kiss him. He looked up at her, doing absolutely nothing but his eyes gave away exactly what he wanted her to do. That hunger scared her more than anything. She shot up, straightened herself out and tried to pretend nothing had happened. "we might want to clean this up."

Birkhoff took a look around the room, it was littered with feathers and a few things had been knocked over. "Yes, let's clean this up." It had no use pushing Alex, the fear in her eyes had killed his libido anyway. He was hurt that she would see him as a threat, but it was understandable considering her history. Once the room was rid of all the white feathers they stood there for an awkward moment. "I'll just go work on…something." He muttered stalking to his computers. He heard her sigh and then leave the room. He had the urge to hit his head against something, so he just went for slamming it down on his desk. He would never get anywhere with her. She was out of his league and they were _just friends_. 'yeah right.' His mind supplied. He groaned.

He didn't expect Alex to come to his room this night. Why would she? She was terrified of him wanting her, going to his bed was probably the last thing she would do. God he had messed up. She didn't see him like that, and showing her exactly how much he wanted her had only freaked her out. Gone was the friendship they had. She must think he was some sort of pervert. He hit the pillow next to him out of frustration. The pillow _she_ always slept on. He shot up as he heard his door open.

"Is there still room for me left?" He couldn't answer her, she looked so small in the doorway. He realized she was wearing one of his shirts as sleepwear. It looked extremely good on her. He scooted over and she took the movement as a confirmation. For a moment they just stared at each other, not sure what to do or to say.

"Alex…I…" She cut him off with a kiss. It took a moment for him to register exactly what was happening before he joined her with everything he had in him. When she started to tug at his shirt for more he pulled back.

"Are you sure?" he asked as he stilled her hands.

"I…you want this right?" it was ridiculous how this beautiful woman seemed so insecure about his opinion.

"Of course I want this Alex, but that isn't what truly matters. Do you want this?"

"I know you want this Seymour, and I don't want to lose you over this. I like you a lot…and to lose you over something as stupid as this…I just…"

"This isn't stupid Alex, and you really will not lose me over this. I wouldn't care if you never slept with me, as much as I want to. I like you a lot, and just sleeping next to you in the same bed is enough for me if that is all you have to give." He was almost afraid he had said the wrong thing when he noticed the tear tracks on her face.

"It's so stupid, I was able to sleep with Nathan, but that was just lust I think…"

"What are you trying to say?" He tried not to lash out in jealousy over the fact that some kid was able to get that close to her.

"What I am trying to say is that I don't think I cared that much about Nathan…as I care about you." The last part was whispered so softly he had to try his hardest to catch the words. All feelings of jealousy were thrown out of the window after that.

"That's a good thing I hope." He tried to joke and it worked as a small smile lit up her face.

"That is a very good thing. You sure you don't want someone a little…less complicated."

"Less complicated would be very good." Her face fell. "But that person wouldn't be you, and I will not settle for less." She threw her arms around him, almost knocking him off the bed. Half an hour later Birkhoff was still staring at the sleeping woman in his arms. How did he ever get this lucky? She sighed his name in her sleep and he vowed from that moment to never let anything happen to her. She was his to protect now.

AN: Wow this is really the longest one-shot I ever wrote. This couple is just so easy to write about! The song is **Superchick- stand in the rain**.


	2. In my veins

**AN I wasn't really planning to write a second chapter for this story, but the ideas just kept haunting me. Here it is the continuation of their relationship. Thank you Tara btw for beta reading my first chapter, I will post it as soon as I find time for it. **

If Birkhoff had thought everything would be easier after that night, he was sorely mistaken. To be fair to Alex; she had said she was complicated. The first few days nothing mayor seemed to change. They still slept next to each other each night and spent a couple of hours on the couch during the day. No extra affections, no kisses good morning. It was just the same as it had been for the past weeks. He didn't mind it, he knew she was his and that was all that really mattered. If Michael and Nikita had noticed the difference they wisely shut up. Alex still came across as rather fragile and any teasing might scare her. Birkhoff sometimes got the idea he was dealing with a nervous animal, instead of a young woman. A very attractive animal granted.

"We have a new mission guys." Michael called as he and Nikita came into the living room. He handed Birkhoff a tablet.

"A Chinese guy?" He asked as he skimmed over the info available.

"A very rich, Chinese guy. According to Ryan this is where Division gets their main funding from. This guy designs all kinds of alarms. And I am not talking about the standard models. I mean fingerprint and facial recognition type of alarms. The best in the business."

"If this guy is that well protected, how will we get to him?" The fact that Alex spoke in full sentences again still seemed to amaze Michael.

"He is a single guy, and he has a taste for beautiful, young girls…" Nikita trailed off, the implications clear to everyone.

"Oh no! no way! I will not sleep with that guy!" Alex exclaimed.

"You will not have to sleep with him, you just need to get inside the house and disable the alarms." Michael tried to shush her. She shot Birkhoff a look, she really didn't want to go.

"It's the only way Alex." The betrayed look she gave him made him want to shrink back. He didn't want to hurt her, but they needed to get in that house. He wouldn't be able to get to the alarms without it.

"You have done this before Alex, you will be fine." The younger girl huffed.

"When will I meet him then?"

"There is a party down town tonight. All technical geniuses seem to gather there and he is invited as well. Birkhoff will get you on the guest list as well. Just drop some hints, flirt a little and make sure you get an invite. We will be waiting for you at the house."

"I will be with you every step of the way Alex." Birkhoff tried to reassure her.

"Fine, I'll just go and get ready then." She threw everyone a saccharine smile and left the room.

"She'll be fine, just fine." He didn't like her tone, it seemed like she was doubting her own statement. Deciding not to worry about that, he left in search for Alex.

_**Nothin goes as planned.  
Everything will break.  
People say goodbye.  
In their own special way.  
All that you rely on  
And all that you can fake  
Will leave you in the morning  
But find you in the day  
**_

"Alex?" he knocked on her door while opening it only to shut it really fast as something hard crashed into it.

"Go away Birkhoff." She was definitely pissed off at him.

"No, I think we need to talk." At a risk of bodily harm he opened the door. She was sitting on the middle of her bed, her sheets pulled over her legs.

"What is there to talk about, it is just another mission." She mumbled, not looking at him.

"We both know that isn't true, I don't want you to go either." He sat down next to her on the bed, brushing a couple of strands of hair out of her face. "I can't promise you that the mission will go without any problems, but I will not blame you for breaking his neck if he tries to touch you. I encourage it even." She gave him a small smile at that.

"I just hate these missions" She leaned into his touch, burrowing her face into his shoulder.

"Me too Sunshine, me too."

He had to keep himself from dropping his jaw when she entered the room that night. The sapphire dress left little to the imagination, but her hair do made her seem sophisticated instead of slutty. She looked stunning. And it was all for some sleaze bag. He truly hoped she would snap his neck, no one touched his girl. He was surprised at his own possessive streak, he usually wasn't that violent. "Okay Princess, here is your earpiece and in this bracelet is the little clip that you need to place on the blue cable of his security system."

All the nervousness she had showed earlier had disappeared and before him was standing the strong and secure Alexandra Udinov. He wasn't sure whether he liked that. "Just remember I am with you, so no funny business." He joked.

"Aye, aye, captain." She gave him a mock salute and followed Nikita out of the building. For a moment he felt lost without her presence. The fast clicking of heels alerted him of someone coming back in. She walked straight up to him and kissed him. "Just to remind you why I am doing this." She whispered.

He smiled "Please remind me again Sweetheart." She gave him a small laugh and once again left the room.

The party was in full swing when Alex arrived and she took a deep breath to steady her nerves. "Birkhoff, do you see the target?"

"He is at the bar, just ordered a single malt from the looks of it." This was no time for joking and flirting. He went for cool, collected and focused. Everything to keep his thoughts from wandering to later this evening and what Alex had to do.

"Copy that, I'm going in." She muttered, moving towards the bar. He had a perfect view of everything that was going on at the party and he really didn't like what he was seeing. "That's my girl." He growled as he noticed the leering look Li gave Alex. The target was Li Nguyen and clearly he was interested.

"Hi, aren't you going to order me a drink tiger." Alex flirted, making her voice sound like liquid sex.

"Of course I will Miss….?"

"Markhoff, Samantha Markhoff." She introduced herself. From that moment the ball started rolling. She laughed at the right moments, made sure she touched him in one way or another. Placing A hand on his bicep. Brushing their fingers together when she reached for her glass.

"Miss Markhoff, I hope you don't think me presumptuous, but would you like to get a _nightcap_ back at my place." God his tone really told them his intentions if his words hadn't already made it clear.

"I would love to, and Samantha please." Alex had the audacity to actually giggle. She giggled! Birkhoff had to restrain himself so he wouldn't actually break something valuable.

"Well done Alex." He muttered he turned the frequency to Michael and Nikita. "Target on the move guys and Alex is with him." He didn't care if he sounded like a jealous fool, he was after all one.

Alex felt decidedly uncomfortable in the car. There were two people in the front. The driver and a guard, both heavily armed. There was one car tailing them, which no doubt contained a few more heavily armed men. A hand sliding up her leg made her stiffen.

"Please Li, not in the back of the car…" She tried to make it sound flirtatious but it came out rather strangled in her ears.

"I'm sorry darling but I just cannot wait any longer, you are just so delectable." That look, so disgusting. Like she was a piece of meat and he was a starving man.

"Things are always better when you wait sweetheart." She tried to move back without being to obvious, but Nguyen was a very perceptible man.

"I am not a patient man, and I want you now. We can do it on a bed later tonight, right now I don't want to wait." He pulled her towards him and Alex really started to panic.

"Alex keep calm, you are almost near the house. I have already alerted Nikita and Michael, they are on their way. Just hold on." Birkhoff his voice calmed her down a little. She pretended to give into his advances throwing him back on the couch so she was on top. "Let me help you then darling." She slowly trailed her fingers over his shirt down south to the zipper of his pants. She opened his pants and pulled them down, it would prevent him from running when she made her get away. There was a the sound of the car entering a road made of gravel and the sound of gunshots rang through the air.

"What the…" He didn't get any further as his neck was broken with a resounding snap. The driver and the guard had already left the car to take on the shooters. Alex righted her dress quickly and then went out to help Nikita and Michael.

_**Oh you're in my veins  
And I cannot get you out  
Oh you're all I taste  
At night inside of my mouth  
Oh you run away  
Cause I am not what you found  
Oh you're in my veins  
And I cannot get you out.**_

Birkhoff had never been more relieved when the three agents entered the building in one piece. They looked tired but happy. "I'm going to take a shower." Alex mumbled.

"Well that wasn't exactly how we planned it, but at least he is death." Nikita exclaimed as she crashed on the couch.

"Do you think Alex will be fine after all this?" Michael asked, putting away some of their equipment. Birkhoff was wondering the same thing, she had gotten awfully close to being raped.

"I think it's best to just leave her alone for a little while. Give her a moment to herself. I think I will be going off to bed, I'm knackered." She pulled Michael up along with her. Birkhoff felt too jittery to go to sleep yet and stayed to shut down all the software that didn't need to keep on running. After fifteen minutes of just dawdling around the living room he decided to just go and at least change in his sleepwear. It took him a minute or so to realize the water in his bathroom was running. Alex had gone into his bathroom? He stepped closer to the door, trying to hear any proof of life inside. The sound of sobs was muffled, but his ears picked up on it anyway. He was at war with himself. Alex was probably naked in there and would not appreciate him looking at her, on the other side was the fact that she clearly could use some comfort. Deciding to risk the bodily harm he knocked before entering the bathroom.

She was in the bathtub which the still streaming water was slowly filling up. She was hunched over, making her already small form seem even smaller in the large tub. She didn't give any indication she had heard him come in besides a slight head tilt. "Alex do you want me to go or…" he didn't quite know what he wanted from her, or better yet what she wanted from him.

"Please stay." She sounded so fragile and once again he was left wondering what had happened to the spitfire of a girl that had walked into Division so long ago. He was planning to just sit on the ground next to the tub, facing away from her to let her have her modesty until he noticed she was shivering again. It sent ripples through the water which clearly was warm with all the steam coming off it. Her big doe eyes followed his moves as he pulled of his shirt and kicked of his shoes. He left his boxers on and climbed in behind her. He circled her waist with his arms and pulled her against his stomach, laying her head on his chest. He didn't let his eyes travel downwards and just played with her wet hair, placing his head on top of hers. He felt her take a couple of shuddering breaths and then the tears came. At first he didn't notice considering he was already wet, but the sound of her being all choked up was unmistakable.

After a while the bath had filled up rather high so he turned off the water, the movement jostled the girl in his arms shaking her from whatever reverie she had been in. She left out a soft laugh. "You seem to be comforting me a lot lately. I am almost wondering what you are getting out of this relationship." It was meant as a joke, but he understood her meaning; '_Why are you staying?'_

"Well I can tell all those people that made jokes about me that I have the hottest girlfriend of them all." She laughed again.

"Thank you Seymour." The yawn told him what time it was.

"Come on Princess, let's get you to bed." He got out first grabbing a towel en blindly handing it to her, he didn't turn around until she gave him the okay.

"I'm an idiot, I was so distracted I didn't even grab clothes to change into." She groaned when she realized her predicament.

"Here." Birkhoff said handing her his earlier discarded shirt. "Just wait for a second I'll grab you a pair of boxers." When he came back he found Alex smelling the shirt, who looked up like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Did you just smell my shirt?" he asked, teasing her.

"It just smells good okay." She answered willing her cheeks to not heat up.

"I'm sure it does Sunshine." He teased, and like that everything seemed to be fine between them. For now at least.

_**Everything will change.  
Nothing stays the same.  
And nobody here's perfect.  
Oh but everyone is to blame  
All that you rely on  
And all that you can save  
Will leave you in the morning  
And find you in the day**_

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, or in Alex her case when you attacked someone she liked. They had caught one of Percy his recruits and wanted to interrogate him. Without Alex on the inside they couldn't be sure what was happening in Division. Unfortunately the recruit in question seemed to have a personal vendetta against Birkhoff. She had picked the wrong guy to mess with.

"Well if it isn't the nerd, feeling good betraying Division? I knew you were worth absolutely nothing, but really…joining Nikita is really low." The woman spit at him, it probably was a good thing she was tied to a chair.

"Why does she hate you so much?" Ryan asked the other resident genius as they watched the woman struggle in the chair.

"I turned her down once, apparently she has a thing for geniuses….not so much for rejection though." He joked, while her words stung a little he knew he was the one to reject her and not the other way around.

"You turned me down! You idiot, there was a betting pool going round in who could screw you first. There was a rumor about the virgin nerd…and everyone wanted a chance at breaking you. We hated you and your arrogance." Now those words did stung. He had known the recruits didn't particularly like him…but those rumors were cruel even for their standards. And so not true. A clicking of heals alerted him of Alex coming down the stairs. Dressed in a leather jacket and tight fitting jeans, wild hair she looked positively deadly. Hot, but deadly. Though it could have been the look she threw at the recruit that made her seem so tough.

"Uhoh." Ryan breathed next to him. "Alex you do realize we need her alive, right?" he asked her.

"Oh she will stay alive, maybe not in one piece…." The girl paled, suddenly she didn't have that much to say anymore. The first slam of Alex her hand against the girls face left a resounding snap of bone breaking. Blood gushed from her nose which was quickly swelling up.

"That was for defending division." Alex snapped. Her second punch landed against the poor girl her jaw, snapping her head back so far both men were worried it might actually snap. Instead or slamming her hand full into the already broken nose she flicked against the side of her nose making the girl yelp in pain as the already broken bone moved. To make sure the girl wouldn't fire another gun she broke her finger. Deciding enough was enough he pulled Alex away from the crying girl.

"That was for Birkhoff." Alex snapped at her before letting Birkhoff pull her away.

"You didn't have to do that, you know." He mumbled as he placed an ice-pack on her bruised hand.

"Yes I did, I will not let anyone get away with insulting you. Just so you know…I didn't know anything about the bets going on between the recruits." She placed her hand against his cheek making sure he knew she was honest.

"I know Alex, you don't need to tell me that. Don't worry, I am rather used to it." He joked.

"You shouldn't have to be used to it Seymour, you're great. Any girl is lucky to have you. Not that they will ever get a chance again." He hugged her, only to be interrupted by Nikita.

"Can anybody please tell me what happened to the recruit? I am pretty sure Michael and I didn't leave her like that." She let her eyes travel between Ryan who didn't look her in the eye and Alex and Birkhoff who didn't seem to be worried.

"She said something I didn't like, so I did something to shut her up." Alex answered. The recruit glared at her, but her painful nose kept her from saying anything.

"Right." Nikita dismissed the problem as Michael struggled to keep from laughing together with Ryan.

_**Oh you're in my veins  
And I cannot get you out  
Oh you're all I taste  
At night inside of my mouth  
Oh you run away  
Cause I am not what you found  
Oh you're in my veins  
And I cannot get you out.**_

_**No I cannot get you out.  
No I cannot get you.**_

Michael found Birkhoff outside on the beach, enjoying the cold wind for a change. He had known the man for years now and despite the occasional row they were good friends. He hated to have this conversation with him, but Alex was like a little sister…which meant this talk was very much necessary, despite her being able to kill a man with her bare hands in 32 different ways.

"Birkhoff!" he called out making the other man stop walking.

"Michael to what do I owe this pleasure?" he joked as the other man caught up with him.

"It's about Alex." That caught Birkhoff his attentions.

"What about her?" he asked suspicious.

"Look you know I am your friend and I know you like her but…"

"Oh dude, not cool man! Don't tell me you are going to hold the whole if you hurt her I'll hurt you speech? Seriously how can you possibly even think I am going to hurt her! I feel insulted Michael."

"Look she is like a little sister to me. I don't care how many ways she knows how to defend herself, she has been through enough already without you hurting her." The genius looked offended at the idea of Michael suspecting him of ever hurting Alex.

"Listen dude, besides sleeping in the same bed we haven't even done anything yet. And I don't even mind that! I love her okay, and when this entire mess is over I'd gladly marry her. Satisfied now!" He had been yelling the entire time not paying attention to what happened at the house. When he spotted Alex he cursed, this was not how he had wanted to get that particular revelation out. Michael seemed to be stunned into silence so Birkhoff took off after Alex who had ran back into the house.

"ALEX!" he yelled, trying to figure out where she went.

"She went upstairs man." Ryan answered him from the couch. "Not sure whether she wants you to follow her though…"

"Spare me the counseling." Birkhoff bit back, taking the stairs two steps at a time. He had enough of other people giving their opinions on his relationship with Alex. He found her in her own room behind the bed clutching a pillow.

"Hey." He whispered sitting down in front of her. "Listen what you heard outside was just…"

"Did you mean it? Did you mean _everything_?" She cut him off.

"Yes…I meant everything." He wasn't sure whether that was the right answer to give, but it certainly was the truth. As it turned out it was the right answer as she threw herself at him. He wondered for a moment if it was a habit of hers until she kissed him and all rational thoughts pretty much flew out of the window. Once her hands strayed south he broke the kiss though. "Alex don't feel pressured…"

"Shut up, I know what I want Seymour." He didn't feel any need to protest after that.

_**Everything is dark.  
It's more than you can take.  
But you catch a glimpse of sun light.  
Shining, down on your face.**_

Basking in the afterglow she whispered the words he had wanted to hear for a while now.

"I love you too."

**AN: I think this will be the official end to this story. Please review, or send me a request if you have an idea for a Balex story. The song used is Andrew belle- in my veins (I cut of the last chorus though).**


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